A few years ago, I had a conversation with my son. He had gotten his girlfriend pregnant and was scared to tell me. To this day, I don’t think he said it from his own mouth, his sister was the one who spilled the beans on him.

I always thought I was one of those fathers, that his children could tell him anything without them being afraid of my reaction.  Come to find out, he didn’t see me as that in this case.  When I finally confronted him, I said, “I heard you’ve got some news for me” he got quiet and said, “Yes sir”.  Instead of going all nuts on him and bashing him about knowing better, I asked him how he felt about it.  I could tell in his voice he was confused and bracing for the impact of my anger, but instead I listened and let him get it out. I knew he needed someone he could talk to, not fuss with.  He needed his father.  So, I pushed my feelings aside and did what needed to be done.

We’ve all done things while aware of the consequences, but we did them anyway.  We don’t need a person to only tell us how wrong and how disgraceful it is, or how sorry we may be in the future for doing it. We need love and understanding, because the truth is the deed has been done already and you can’t take it back.

In most cases our parents and closest friends are the ones we go to as a sounding board for problems but are the first to point out all our wrongs and what we should have done, as if they were perfect.

I say that to say this, when your friends, children, or even someone at work comes to you for advice on a situation or comes to you in confidence about something that has transpired in their life; they are looking for a sounding board.  Be that sounding board. Don’t be the voice of judgement, try to be the ear that listens. “Think Before you Speak” and be honest.  If the tables were turned, what would you need?  A judge and jury or compassion?

My brothers remember, God is always standing by to be that sounding board for all His children too.  He will listen and He will not judge.  He understands our flaws and weaknesses.  We can let Him be that sounding board and that voice of reason for us no matter what the situation is.  He will never speak out of turn either.  I promise you He has all the right answers and knows exactly what you need, even when you don’t.  (May God continue to bless you, your brother in Christ…TMK).